I recently made a very simple observation that seems to be the basis of failure of people to commit in a relationship. Basically, a person knowingly (or unknowingly) sets a certain level of expectation from their partner. If the partner exceeds these expectations, then the person will be willing to commit. The same holds true for the partner. Now, in real life, people always tend to go out with people who make them feel good, and exceed their expectations. Expectations may be in different forms, like looks, money, certain hobbies, or everything ;). So, when someone is looking for a partner, they will only commit to people who are above their expectations. However, as the other person is above the expectations, the first person might not match the expectations of this person, and fall below his/her expectations and there will not be a commitment. Having a casual relationship is a completely different issue, where the expectations are not properly set. However, as it goes forward, they get more and more clear. This is probably a reason why people with different professional backgrounds get along well with each other… their expectations are completely disjoint from one another.
Comments
None (January 16, 2006):
Good thought. Especially at 1:30 AM in night :)Other big problem is that expectations keep on changing - with time and circumstances, be it casual or commited relationship, be it same profession or different. So when looking for a partner, it is important to “size up” the person’s flexibility, optimism and maturity more than anything else. It’s easier said than done, but then what’s life without chances taken? :-)
Spundun (January 21, 2006):
કોઇનો પ્રેમ ક્યારેય ઓછો હોતો નથી, આપણી અપેક્ષાઓજ વધારે હોય છે. – હરિન્દ્ર દવે.
None (August 30, 2012):
May I simply just say what a comfort to find an individual who actually knows what they’re discussing on the internet. You certainly realize how to bring an issue to light and make it important. A lot more people must read this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised you aren’t more popular given that you surely possess the gift. Also see my website: how to delete cookies from computer
Comments
None (January 16, 2006):
Good thought. Especially at 1:30 AM in night :)Other big problem is that expectations keep on changing - with time and circumstances, be it casual or commited relationship, be it same profession or different. So when looking for a partner, it is important to “size up” the person’s flexibility, optimism and maturity more than anything else. It’s easier said than done, but then what’s life without chances taken? :-)
Spundun (January 21, 2006):
કોઇનો પ્રેમ ક્યારેય ઓછો હોતો નથી, આપણી અપેક્ષાઓજ વધારે હોય છે. – હરિન્દ્ર દવે.
None (August 30, 2012):
May I simply just say what a comfort to find an individual who actually knows what they’re discussing on the internet. You certainly realize how to bring an issue to light and make it important. A lot more people must read this and understand this side of the story. I was surprised you aren’t more popular given that you surely possess the gift. Also see my website: how to delete cookies from computer